The Most Expensive Food

Note: In Nepali culture, once I touch a plate of food, I have to eat the whole thing. So if there is something that I don’t want to eat, I have to very carefully refuse to touch the plate.

I was at a student’s house, sitting by the roaring fire in their kitchen. There was no electricity or windows in their house, so I was squinting to see by the light of the fire. As always, the family insisted on providing me with a snack. As my student’s mother handed me the plate, I saw through the candlelight the most amazing vanilla ice cream. I was thrilled. I gladly accepted the big bowl with a big smile on my face. I took a heaping spoonful.

It was butter.

They had served me a massive bowl of butter.

I sat there on the floor of their kitchen silently cursing everyone. Why would they serve me butter? Why would I think that a house without electricity had vanilla ice cream? Why had I even gone to Nepal?

The answer to the first question is because a lot of Nepalis have the notion that Americans just eat the most expensive things around. Butter being the most expensive food in their house, they assumed it was “American food.”

So, what did I do, sitting on the floor of their kitchen with a big bowl of butter I was supposed to eat? I did one of those, “what’s that over there?” pointing in the opposite direction, and then I frantically shoved the butter down my shirt. Now, before you judge me for wasting their most expensive food, I’ll wait while you serve yourself a big bowl of butter. Go ahead.

The worst part–besides that I felt really guilty–was that I was spending the night there. So I had the pleasure of spending the night with melted, rehardened butter all down my front. I stayed up half the night waiting for the rats to eat me alive.

And I will never assume anything is vanilla ice cream again.