It’s always intimidating walking up to my students’ homes. While I’m always excited to see my students in another context, I also dread being at the center of attention for a few hours. It’s always worth it. The students love it; when I tell them I’ll be coming to their house the next day, they get all giddy and start giggling. It’s a huge deal for a teacher to come visit their homes. I get to walk away with a better sense of their environment and I alway have a newfound sense of respect and appreciation for the challenges they face in the classroom and outside. I’ve made it a point to visit the lower-income, lower-caste kids houses first, because it’s a bigger deal for them for a teacher to visit.
So here are some stories about home visits just from this week alone:
Monday:
I went to a student’s house who is alway doing great work, participating in class, and attending all my extracurriculars. As a rule, I always highlight the student’s positive classroom behaviors. With this student, I thought it’d be particularly easy; she is excelling in all aspects of her schooling. While I was sitting down with her family, every time I’d say something positive about her, they’d turn it into a negative. Participating in class? She talks too much. Asks thoughtful questions? She takes away my time from the other students. Works quietly and independently? She has no friends. Attends extracurriculars? Doesn’t do enough work at home.
I could not find one single accomplishment that her father didn’t manage to make into some flaw of hers! It was so discouraging for me, and I can’t imagine how it felt to be that student. I gain an appreciation for I ended up spending the night at their house because we talked for so long it was too late for me to make the 1.5 hour journey back home.
At my students’ home
Tuesday:
It’s worth noting that a part of the culture is that guests will always receive a light snack and tea. It would be incredibly rude to turn down what is offered (although I try to make it clear I can’t eat uncooked food). I went to the home of a 7th grade boy, who is staying with his adult sister and her family. His mother is dead and his father is abroad (Qatar/UAE) searching for work. We were having a great conversation and just enjoying the visit when I was brought my snack and tea, They served me two grapefruit-sized lemons dipped in incredibly hot chili peppers. The first bite was incredibly sour and then incredibly hot at the end. After a few bites, I could feel tears started welling up. It was just so spicy and sour at the same time; overwhelming. I started involuntarily crying due to the spice in my student’s house, while simultaneously talking about how good it was.
A student’s mother and aunt outside their home.
After that, they gave me a high-protein cake that is given out by various aid groups to combat malnutrition. This cake had been sitting out all day and was overflowing with ants. As soon as I took it in my hands, they started running up my arms. Every time I took a bite, I had to see the ants I would soon be murdering; but there wasn’t anything I could do! I can’t turn down food; it would be mortifying for the family. It actually tasted really good, a bit of a crunch to it.
Wednesday:
One of my sixth grade boys invited me to his home, and he was incredibly nervous when he did so. The whole time, he was shaking and fiddling with the hem of his shirt. When I arrived at his home, I could figure out why. He lives with some neighbors in a tarp tent on the side of a windy mountain. His parents are gone; his mother died a few years ago and his father went abroad for work and hasn’t been heard of since. The people he lives with had no interest in his education at all; it seems he just shares a house with them. It was clear that getting to know them wouldn’t help me support my student, so instead I focused on spending the next few hours building a better relationship with him. We went to the tap to haul water; we played with baby chicks; we shared guavas and mangos. I am so glad I’ve gotten to know him. This boy does not consistently do his homework and he doesn’t come to any programs after school, but now I have a much better idea why that is and how I can support him.
Thursday:
There is a woman a few villages away who I actively try to avoid. Whenever I run into her, she will grab me and start swinging me around in some kind of strange dance. I don’t like being grabbed, but I always feel pressured to seem like I’m enjoying it. I didn’t realize this was the mother of one of my students, so when I arrived at their home I was caught off guard. I’m glad I went, though. It turns out they are Dalit (low caste, “Untouchables”), and I realize now that her swinging me around whenever she saw me was a way to prove to the other villagers that the American doesn’t care about caste. It was more important than I had originally imagined. That doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to running into her again, but I can appreciate her actions.
Friday:
Today I’m going to the student whose dog bit me my first day and then whose family wouldn’t let me go to the hospital until after I’d had a cup of tea! Wish me luck that I don’t get bit again.
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