Remember the post about some difficult decisions I make each day? Well, that was a bit of a cop-out. There are real problems with major life impact that don’t have easy solutions. Here are some really challenging situations that have come up (as always, details have been changed):
- 1. I was sitting in the school’s office, relaxing with some other teachers when a group of local politicians walked in. After a brief greeting, one of the girls I work with was summoned, a 14-year-old in 9th grade. She sat down across from them and listened silently for a few minutes. I tried to follow the conversation, but I was having a really hard time because one of the politicians was slurring his words very badly, and they were all speaking extremely quickly. It was clear that my student had done something that merited an apology. After twenty minutes of discussion, the girl got down on her knees, pressing her face to the ground, to apologize to the politicians. She left, and shortly after they bid the teachers goodbye.
Then I found out what the discussion had been about. The girl had told her three best friends (some of my brightest students) that the head of the political party had groped her while she was walking through the woods. Her best friends took it upon themselves to confront that politician. The man vehemently denied it and went to school to confront the girl for lying about him. During the twenty minute meeting, the girl confessed to lying about the incident, but didn’t give a reason why she would lie.
After I understood what I had witnessed, I went back to the girl and sat down with her. I told her that if something did happen to her, we could talk about it and figure out a plan. That I would believe her. I also told her that lying about sexual assault makes it more difficult for actual victims to be believed. She just nodded and wouldn’t look at me. Finally, she apologized again for lying and walked away.
Puja (worship) for the female goddess Laxmi
2. One of my most outgoing students has recently started speaking only gibberish when I’m around. If I ask her anything, I receive a huge fake smile and an incoherent response. She’s almost always surrounded by a swarm of friends, and I think she appreciates the giggling reactions from her peers. But my intuition tells me there’s something much more going on. It just started one day a few weeks ago, and she hasn’t said anything since then.
I just can’t get anything out of her, and it’s so frustrating! Normally, I would do a home visit, and hope that that would help. And I still want to, but it gets dark so early. I can’t go to students’ homes after school anymore. A few months ago, she also hinted that her father might not want a non-Hindu visiting their house, so I haven’t gone. I don’t know how I can help her if I can’t communicate with her.
3. A number of my girls show up with the occasional black eye, bruises, or what looks like cigarette burns on them. They always act incredibly ashamed, cowering behind their scarves, for a few days until the marks fade. I never know what to say- my students generally shut down if there’s any mention of domestic violence. What’s horrific for me is just a part of the way of life here, just like waiting in lines for hours at the public tap or people dying of typhoid.
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